Archive for November 2009

Moments of perfection


Last night Bob and I visited Lake Travis. There were only two other people at the park – a man sitting by the edge of the water strumming a guitar and a woman windsurfing. It was a gorgeous Austin evening with a magical sunset. As we walked along the shoreline we looked into the sky and saw a flock of geese in a perfect V-Shape heading south for the winter.  We watched those birds until they were out of sight. It was very moving to be reminded of beauty, peace and harmony.

 

 

 

Do you want to be more assertive?


When we want to lose weight, to exercise more, to eat better, to be less stressed …. we are counseled to take some immediate action. Go on a diet. Join a gym. Avoid fast food. Meditate. I don’t know many (any?) people who can immediately put such advice into practice and achieve the result they truly desire.

 

Let’s take the case of wanting to be more assertive. Traditional advice would probably have you read self-help books on being assertive, with a recommendation to stand up to people in your life by saying “no,” instead of “yes” in response to unrealistic demands or expectations. This is too big a first step for many of us.

 

Perhaps the most valuable first step in the case of assertiveness is to take time to identify the situations where you are not assertive and to note down the specifics. Example: When I go to get a massage I don’t like the massage therapist to talk during the massage, but it’s awkward to tell her that. Once you identify the particular situation, can you explore your feelings and thoughts around it? What are the consequences of being assertive and clearly stating your preferences, your needs and the type of behaviors you find unacceptable.

 

A non-assertive pattern develops over many decades. Treat yourself with utmost gentleness as you seek to understand and explore this pattern and then take one small step after another towards personal empowerment.  

 

Are You Hungry?


If you are hungry….. stop and take the time to eat.

 

If you’re not hungry….. and eating while cooking, reading, driving home, watching television, or facing the fridge at 10 p.m.…. ask yourself in a gentle and enquiring voice … “why am I eating?”

 

 

Losing the last 10lbs


I met a woman in her mid forties at a party and admired her outfit. Immediately she bemoaned the fact that she was 10 pounds too heavy and couldn’t zip up her favorite pants. Furthermore, she wanted to lose the extra weight before a wedding in early spring. She thought that she should exercise more but really didn’t want to. Already eating “next to nothing” the extra weight hadn’t budged.

 

This is not an unusual conversation for women to have with each other. I was reminded how intense and passionate we women can be about our weight. We were in the most beautiful surroundings, a gorgeous blue sky day, the sunlight glistening off the water, a soft breeze singing in the trees and there we were, talking about those last 10lbs.

 

Can you relate to my companion’s quandary? We can continue to be preoccupied with food, diets and weight – or can we do something about it? There is a vibrant, rich and amazing life out there beyond our last 10lbs and our preoccupations with fitting into a particular outfit…. It’s our choice how we want to live it.

 

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