31. January 2009 by Patricia.

I had a root canal last week. It wasn’t fun but I have a fabulous dentist who sings to me. I kid you not. When he gave me the first injection to numb my mouth, he sang a soothing song. With the second injection, he took me, through visualization, on a peaceful journey along a beautiful beach. Now that’s a dentist in tune with my inner child! I felt no pain and no discomfort at all for the next couple of days. But on the fourth day I must have bitten down on a cracker in the wrong place and the repaired tooth started to throb. Before I consciously acknowledged that I felt the discomfort, I found myself walking towards the kitchen in search of food.

And in a flash I got the connection! It’s almost like I heard this internal mantra, “Don’t feel pain - eat!” This awareness made me smile. In the moment, I realized that food was not going to help me. What would help? Verbally expressing the discomfort I felt. Asking myself how much pain I experienced on a scale of 1-10.  [I came up with a 5 – not so terribly bad!] And, I decided I would call the dentist first thing in the morning to have my tooth checked out. But I did not eat to deal with the discomfort. And I call that freedom! http://www.newparadigmcoaching.com/

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24. January 2009 by Patricia.

It’s January and the Internet is full of prescriptions and “I know what’s best for you” strategies on how to lead a healthier life. Here are examples: “set realistic goals;” “shift your thinking to lifestyle;” “cut back, don’t cut out;” “keep track of your progress;” “develop a positive attitude;” etc. I don’t necessarily disagree with any of these prescriptions in themselves, but two things bother me:

The first - someone is telling me what to do without understanding my particular situation. And the second, it just isn’t possible to follow the advice all at once. Attempting to make too many changes is a recipe for failure.

Most of the weight loss type prescriptions center around food and exercise. These are important aspects for any weight loss program. If you have begun 2009 trying to exercise regularly and eat right but are having a difficult time sticking with your chosen regimen, you might want to consider another option.

Do we see ourselves as spiritual beings leading a human existence? Do we regard ourselves as multi-faceted, made up of a body, a mind, a spirit and emotions? In this context, perhaps your starting point need not be within the body dimension. You might want to consider working with your thoughts and beliefs [mind], or taking time each day to ask for guidance in your unique way [spirit]. Or again, you might explore how stress derails you when you commit to a healthier lifestyle [emotions].

If you often begin a New Year by choosing a program that focuses on food and exercise, but it hasn’t worked for you, consider another approach. What have you got to lose?

http://www.newparadigmcoaching.com/

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17. January 2009 by Patricia.

Recently I heard two views about making life changes. One is “growth is always hard” and the other is “growth can be fun”.

Resistance to change is very familiar, isn’t it? Why does life change and growth seem so difficult? Often we have ingrained distress patterns laid down in childhood. In adapting to those patterns, we developed familiar ways of being with ourselves and surviving.  Although we may really want to change, we fall short of our goals and dreams when we are unable to give up comfortable old patterns.

How many times have you heard this: “If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always gotten.”  If you want to make a change in your life, then you have to act differently from actions you have taken in the past. If you have been on a diet and have lost weight only to regain the weight lost, will you go back to the same diet? Or will you choose another approach? Can you be excited about your exploration and self-discovery? Can you feel exhilarated by new found freedom?

Are you willing to step forward into growth and will you make the growth process hard or fun? Your choice!

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10. January 2009 by Patricia.

After a wonderful day of hiking in the Rocky Mountains, Bob invited me into an ice cream parlor. In answer to his simple question, “What would you like?”, I was paralyzed. It had been years since I had been into an ice cream parlor. After struggling with weight issues, the idea of eating ice cream in full view of everyone and enjoying it without feeling guilty was almost incomprehensible. On top of that, there were so many choices, which one would I pick? I had my eye on the chocolate mocha fudge but the mint chocolate chip looked enticing also. Sensing my dilemma, Bob asked how I felt about having both flavors - a double scoop. “Why not?” I asked myself. I decided not only to have a double scoop, but I chose the crunchy waffle cone to hold my prize.

There was such a feeling of liberation that came with my decision to order the double scoop. As we sat outside licking and slurping our cones and so thoroughly enjoying ourselves, we attracted numerous other customers into the ice cream parlor!

I have since reflected on how we often may settle for less than we truly want or deserve, and how easy it is for us to cling to a scarcity mentality when abundance is only one scoop away. Choosing a double scoop in a waffle cone can be a wonderful metaphor in our lives. Are you limiting yourself to one scoop?

www.newparadigmcoaching.com

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3. January 2009 by Patricia.

Our lives more at such a fast pace that we can be tempted to go for the short-term solution to resolve our problems, rather than seeking out long-lasting change. Some of us still struggle with issues and problems that have haunted us all our lives, returning to simple, short-term solutions, instead of digging deeper for the source of the problem and then deciding to act differently.

Many of us dieted and lost weight, only to have regained the weight, sometimes since our teen years. Rather than considering that the dieting process may be at fault, we might blame ourselves for not having the will power to stick with it. We keep trying the same solution over and over but in different guises – high protein diets; low fat diets; low-calorie meal replacements – looking for the quick pay off.

What is this “quick fix” mentality all about and why is it so enticing? I think it provides instant hope that we can change quickly, it allows us an immediate strategy “to do something”. It takes our minds off what is really going on. It puts us squarely in a “doing” mode, rather than a “being mode”. Our culture supports the former.

If we were to sidestep the magnetic pull of the “quick fix” and look underneath it – what might we find? Those of us with weight issues may find a seething cauldron of emotional issues, a lack of self-love and a fear of the unknown: What will life be like at our optimal weight?  For those of us with low energy, who feel drained by a primary relationship, who struggle with family issues, or who work in jobs that no longer reflect personal goals – what will life be like if pounds lost stay off?

If I am unwilling to look beneath the surface, I will remain stuck, in limbo, and far from the life I have dreamed. However, if I am willing to dig deeper and take action, the benefits can be enormous. Whatever problem you are facing, are you willing to resolve this issue once and for all to find freedom? If your answer is yes, what will be your final step?

www.newparadigmcoaching.com

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