27. December 2008 by Patricia.

For many of us, weight loss simply isn’t the answer. Often we place so much energy into changing the physical appearance that we tend to ignore our emotional and spiritual selves. Perhaps we have minimized the importance of honoring our emotions and expressing them appropriately. Perhaps we have pushed our emotions into the background, focusing instead on reshaping the body.

If we haven’t paid attention the inner Self, then reaching that desired weight leaves the same Self occupying a thin body. Often this leads to feeling extremely vulnerable. Without congruency between our inner and outer selves, it is unlikely that we will know how to live with a new, slim body. Too often this increases the likelihood of another cycle of weight gain.

How can we change ourselves from the inside out, as well as from the outside in? Here are suggestions to tap into self-awareness:

1.       Take time to discover why you are overweight. Do you use food to calm yourself? Is overeating a habit you learned in your family? Does an overweight body protect you from the outside world and keep you safe? Is food a way to submerge your feelings, perhaps not feeling pain, sadness and frustration?

2.       Ask yourself the deeper life questions. What is my purpose on Earth? What is the meaning of my life? Who am I? Answers to these questions may change as you grow.

3.       Give yourself permission to feel all your emotions. This is one way you can access your authentic Self.

4.       As yourself the question, “Is there a part of me that I do not love enough?

5.       If you were at your desired weight today, how would your life be different? How would you think, act and love differently? Would you stand up taller? Would you be more assertive? Who would you spend time with? What would you eat? What kinds of clothes would you wear?

Your answers to these questions can provide clues or steps you can take. Being able to live as you desire, with the body you have now, can help you to develop congruency between your inner Self and body. With this balance, you are more likely to maintain your desired weight. There is nothing to “weight” for in breaking free of the cycles of gaining and losing weight.. you can begin to live your perfect weight now!

www.newparadigmcoaching.com

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20. December 2008 by Patricia.

When we experience a problem, we often seek out an expert for advice, don’t we. When our car breaks down, we ask a mechanic to fix it. When we want to draw up a will, we find a lawyer specializing in this type of work. So when we require help with an overweight problem, where do we go to help solve the weight issue? A psychotherapist, experts of a dieting plan, or, perhaps, a fitness center. But maybe there is expert advice to be gleaned from the “thin person”.

What do I mean by the “thin” person and what lessons can we learn to help with an overweight problem? “Thin” people are individuals who have never had a weight issue; whose weight has stayed relatively stable throughout their lives.

I propose that a “thin” person thinks about food in a very different way from the overweight person. Thin people tend to eat exactly the foods they want, in the quantities they want. And when they are satisfied, they stop. Thin people don’t think about food all the time; they may even need to be reminded that it is time to eat!

When you offer “thin” people food when they are full, they will turn you down. If you suggest that they “clean their plate”, they will look at you strangely and inform you they cannot eat another bite. Tell a “thin” person that you have broken your diet, and you want to binge on non-diet foods for the rest of the day - they will be perplexed.

My husband Bob is a “thin” person. He is a “thin” person who not only has been unconditionally loving and supportive of me as I have struggled with weight issues, but also has inspired me to eat like a “normal” person. He also happens to have written The Encyclopedia of Nutrition and Good Health. We are teaming up to offer you the Diet Free Now Program. It is our opportunity to pool our expertise, our talents and our partnership to help women find freedom around dieting, body image and weight issues. We’ll keep you posted!

http://www.newparadigmcoaching.com/

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13. December 2008 by Patricia.

I was riding my bicycle on the hike and bike path near my home and came across a fallen tree blocking my way. It had been weakened by numerous storms and finally given way. I picked up my bike and carried it over the trunk. On my return home, I repeated the process, stepping over the huge obstacle and caught myself thinking, “I’m glad this big old tree didn’t fall on someone!” Others made comments too as they neared the fallen tree: A walker said, “Now here is an obstacle to make my walk more interesting”; Another said, “Those lazy maintenance people – don’t they do their jobs anymore?”

One fallen tree. Three different responses, giving a neutral event “our” special meaning and interpretation. Isn’t that just the way life is, too? How often do we project onto situations and circumstances our previous experiences and beliefs. Rain is just rain – no more and no less. To a business woman and her family on the beach for one week of the year, rain is an unwelcome visitor. To a farmer with a field full of parched crops, rain is a Godsend. So the question is: From what perspective are you viewing and living your life?

http://www.newparadigmcoaching.com/

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6. December 2008 by Patricia.

What do we do with feeling guilty? Surely, guilt is another way in which we are hard on ourselves. Guilt simply doesn’t serve us. Find a catch phrase that you can say to yourself to move beyond guilt and into compassion such as “I am doing the best I can in this moment.”

I hear women say how guilty they feel when they succumbed and ate chocolate. Here’s what I do if I really want chocolate and nothing else will do. I go out and get the best, most luscious chocolate I can find, I savor it, and then enjoy it.

We often forget to treat ourselves with sensitivity, choosing instead to scold and judge ourselves. We give our “inner critic” full reign to speak harshly to us – “That was stupid!” or “There you go again!” Whose voice is that? What are the messages your negative self-talk sends you?

Becoming aware of the inner critic and the automatic judgmental thoughts that pop up unlocks the door to compassion. Suggestion: Develop affirmations that counteract the negative, scolding and judging voice that stops you from reaching your full potential. Here is an example of such an affirmation: “I made a mistake and I forgive myself completely.”

http://www.newparadigmcoaching.com/

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