Saying No! to Food Pushers

1. September 2008 by Patricia.

Did you see the film “My Big Fat Greek Wedding?” Many scenes remind me of my growing up years.

Food and persistent eating are a preoccupation in Tula’s family.The pressure to eat in families is palpable. A telling scene from the film: Tula’s Aunt confronts Ian, the husband to be with, “when you come over to my house, I make you meat – I am the best cook in the family.” When Tula points out that Ian is vegetarian, her Aunt looks shocked, the whole room quiets to a hush and then she slaps Ian on the back and says, “It’s okay.. I make you lamb.”

It has taken me years to realize that I am responsible for what I put into my mouth. I no longer give that power away to anyone, not even if “I made this just for you”, “we drove half way across the city to get the ingredients,” “this will be your last chance to taste ___ made by __ .” And, of course, the one most of us heard as children, “There are starving children in China (or Africa, or India). “ Somehow my eating everything on my plate didn’t seem to help those hungry children very much.

The pressure to eat has not diminished in my family of origin neither in our culture. Even if I say I choose not to eat a Belgian Waffle because it makes me tired and gives me a headache, there still will be someone who will say .. “Just have a little of mine – you have to try it.”

True enough, meal sharing with community, family and friends can be an occasion for celebration and connection. But forcing people to eat when they are not hungry or pushing food on someone who has sensitivities to certain foods, or who simply doesn’t want it, is not a loving act. We can project all kinds of reasons onto the person pushing the food, but that is not as useful as realizing that we have the power and the responsibility to ourselves to say NO! Kindly, gently, politely. Our duty in every food pushing situation is to honor ourselves and our boundaries.

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